Rules are not about being stricter with yourself. They’re the promises you don’t break when you’re tired, pressured, or pulled in ten different directions.
In this episode of RULES, Dr. Toye Oyelese introduces a three-layer framework for personal rules drawn from the "house" model of the mind: boundary rules that decide what you don’t let in, behavioral rules that keep your life moving in the right direction, and identity rules that protect who you are when it matters most.
Through vivid, everyday examples—the overextended coworker who burns out one yes at a time, the worker at the end of a double shift who holds a line instead of lashing out, and the person who breaks a deep promise and no longer recognizes themselves—Dr. Oyelese explores why rules are not the same as willpower, why they matter more than goals, and why they only work if they are truly yours.
This episode offers a clear, practical way to think about the agreements you make with yourself so your inner "house" can function without collapsing under other people’s demands.